Carroll Gardens, BK

Fat Kid Rating: Morbidly Obese

Henceforth, my life will be measured in two eras: Pre-Lucali’s and Post-Lucali’s. As I write this post, I am living 1 week Post-Lucali’s.

I’ve spent the past week getting my emotions in check and my thoughts in order. I needed to take time to digest my thoughts and make sure I’m doing this place justice.

This week has been full of random flashbacks to my experience at Lucali’s: all of which have bought a smile to my face. Anyone who knows me knows that pizza is a huge passion of mine, and I can now confidently say visiting Lucali’s is a pizza pilgrimage that any food-lover needs to take.

Does all of this sound dramatic? Perhaps. But it really is that fucking good.

Getting into it

Everything about Lucali’s is an experience, including actually getting into the restaurant.

There’s no beating around the bush here: trying to get a reservation at Lucali is a fucking hassle. You need to show up to the restaurant to put your name down earlier in the day, at around 2 or 3 pm. At that point, you get told to come back at a certain time (which may or may not be the time you wanted the actual reservation). Some of our group even went back a 3rd time to confirm that we had a reservation (shoutout to you Sameer and Payal).

Once you get to Lucali’s, you’ll be greeted by a sea of customers waiting for their takeout orders and a hostess standing behind a red velvet rope with a clipboard (no, seriously). Because it’s so crowded outside, I suggest you pass on getting a reservation for outdoors and opt to get seated inside instead.

Right by the door is a black chalkboard that has the menu written on it.

1. Pizza
2. The toppings you can get
3. Calzone (small or large)

That’s it. Thats the entire menu.

Up until this point, our group’s experience has been marked by stress & anxiety: the stress of having to grind to get a reservation and the anxiety of being surrounded by people waiting to be seated or waiting for their orders. Time ticks on by while waiting for our turn.

All of these negative emotions melt away as soon as you enter the restaurant. As you get seated, you can’t help but feel like you’re about to experience something incredible.

The first thing that gets you is the smell. I don’t know how to describe it other than it mimicking the smell of your Nonna’s kitchen in Baucina, Italia. I’m not Italian nor have I ever been to Italy. But that’s what it fucking smells like.

The interior of the restaurant is gorgeous; with an old-time feel to it. There’s wood all around: from the tables, to the chairs, to the decor. The atmosphere is dim, with wax candles lighting up the dining tables and the glorious fire of the wood-burning oven illuminating the kitchen. In the kitchen, you can see the pizzaiolos using wine bottles to roll out the dough.

There’s only two items on the menu; order them both. Did I know I needed a calzone? No. Was I glad I had it? Absolutely.

Our group of 5 ended up getting two pizzas and a calzone. The first pie and the calzone were the classics, and the second pie was mushroom & hot pepper. The calzone came out first, and was served with a heap of basil on top and with a side of marinara sauce.

First and foremost, the sauce. Imagine the purest form of a tomato being blended up and cooked down to intensify the flavor. The sauce tasted like what I imagine tomatoes in the Garden of Eden would have tasted like. It was served with a dusting of what I think was Parmigiano-Reggiano on the side of it, and when mixed together added even more umami to a perfect spoonful.

After the calzone was finished, there was some sauce left over that the group seemed to forget about. (I don’t blame them; we got an extra order of it). I have no shame; I took spoonfuls of it straight to the dome like it was soup. It wasn’t being wasted.

The calzone itself was all about the cheeses: the ooey-gooey center with a blend of what I think was tangy parmesan, rich ricotta, and oh so pull apart-y buffalo milk mozzarella. All of those cheeses surrounded by a light and airy dough? Excellence.

Then came the pizzas. The best pizza I’ve ever fucking had, bar-none.

The leoparding on the crust and beneath the slices, the tang of the cheese, the sweetness of the sauce: all of it is perfection. The texture of the dough is incredible; crispy enough to be able to fold pizza the way its meant to be eaten, but also not stiff like a board.

I am and will always be a pizza purist. A Margherita pie will always be the best kind of pizza. But even I have to say, the hot pepper on the second pie added a level of sourness and just a hint of spice that I really enjoyed.

I keep thinking to myself how can this pizza be this good? I’ve arrived at the conclusion that it has to be the ratios: the amount of sauce to dough, the amount of cheese to sauce. It’s all been perfected. Even the basil on top, which I must add is grown in the garden in the back, adds a level of bitterness that counteracts the sweetness of the sauce.

I cant sit here without wondering if I’ll ever have a better pizza experience than what I had at Lucali. There’s a large part of me that thinks its impossible, but lord knows I’ll give it an honest shot.

If you’re reading this, text your significant other/friends/family and mark a date on the calendar that you’re gonna try and make it out to Carroll Gardens and give Lucali’s a shot. Bring a wad of cash, a bottle of wine, and get ready to have a transformative pizza experience. Lucali’s is morbidly obese, hands down.

Home

Fat Kid Rating: Fat

*Cracks knuckles in anticipation to get started*

It’s been a while. I’m sorry I left you guys hanging.

I sit here a couple of pounds heavier and a little more weary of wearing anything Dri-Fit. It just hugs you differently. If you’ve ever thought the same; I feel for you.

2020

Home-cooked meals and a LOT of snacks. Don’t get me wrong; 2020 was full of great food, but looking back all my meals feel like a blur. I can’t seem to point to a single meal that stands head and shoulders above the rest.

That has me wondering: was it the quality of the food?

I really don’t think that the quality of food suffered during the pandemic. Personally speaking, lord knows my mama can throw down a meal at any time. I was never short on having really comforting meals like rajma chawal or dal makhani.

Which leads me to think it’s probably because of how that food was enjoyed. When we go out for a meal with friends, family, or a significant other, that meal is an event. We remember more than just the food we’re having, we remember sharing that meal and the conversations going on around it. In turn, those conversations and experiences coalesce with the food we’re having at the moment and become a distinguishable memory.

I think almost anyone will feel that 2020 was void of sharing those moments with anyone but your immediate circle. I often found myself squeezing a meal in between Zoom meetings, or while watching a Youtube video or CNN. I don’t remember those meals because in my head they weren’t events, they were just lunch or dinner.

As things open up, I hope I’m able to really appreciate the restaurant experiences I have with my loved ones and I hope you’re able to do so as well. 2020 was tough for all of us and we owe it to ourselves to enjoy meaningful moments over glasses of Cabernet and cheese plates.

Just some thought for food.

Till next time.

Long Island City, NY

Fat Kid Rating: Obese

I literally started this blog to rave about this place. Don’t get me wrong; I’ve been thinking about sharing my fat kid diaries for a while now. This place pushed me OVER THE EDGE. The world needs to hear about Adda.

I’m blessed to be from a Punjabi family: if you know, you know. We make the best Indian food. Don’t @ me. That being said, I don’t usually flock towards Indian food while eating out. I get great food at home; why waste money on it? After reading Robert Sietsema’s review on Eater, I decided I needed to try this place. My illustrious and amazing friend Sameer’s birthday was approaching. We were already planning on getting lunch and I decided to make a reservation here.

Getting Into the Meat of it

The place itself is pretty small. The walls are lined with Indian newspapers and posters. It was nice seeing Amitabh Bachchan stare down at me as I chomped away. Overall the ambience is nice and the music playing in the restaurant slaps.

We started with the Aloo Chana Chat. Fingerling potatoes and chickpeas in a gravy topped with crunchy bits and savory and tangy chutneys. Perfect mix of crunchy and almost soggy textures (I’ll get better at using adjectives, I promise). Perfect way to get started.

For the entrees, we ordered the Lucknow Dum Biryani, the Lotus Root Kofta, and 3 different types of naan.

I’ll start with the Lotus Root Kofta: what a luxurious dish. The rich mouth feel of the gravy, the crispy exterior and fluffy interior of the Kofta, the herbaceous-ness of it. I fucking loved it. This dish is definitely worth ordering; even if you’re a hardcore meat eater. Everyone at the table mentioned how pleasantly surprised they were by this dish.

Yes, I’m dedicating a couple of sentences just for the naan. ORDER THE AMUL CHILLI & CHEESE NAAN. It’s perfectly salty, the cheese is perfectly stretchy, the naan is supple and it makes for an elite accompaniment to dip in gravy.

Saving the most impressive for last: the Lucknow Dum Biryani. You can tell this is their most popular dish: almost every table around us had Biryani on it. The Biryani itself is extremely spice-ous; to the point where we were sweating eating it. The goat was tender and fell off the bone. Every grain of rice was tender and separate (good luck trying to find mushy and over-cooked rice in this establishment). Even though the flavor is elite, the best part about this dish is the presentation. It comes out in a pot with crispy dough lining the dish. The waiter then proceeds to crack into the top of the dough with his spoon: releasing the built up steam. It’s almost theatrical.

Overall, this place is legitimately delicious. Would definitely recommend checking this place out and pigging out.

Oh, I should probably explain the fat kid rating at the top of this post. Going forward, I’m going to be rating the food experiences on this page using my self-patented fat kid scale. The scale goes as following: emaciated, skinny, shmedium, chubby, fat, obese, morbidly obese. This place is obese, hands down.